Thursday, June 21, 2012
Cupcakes
I made cupcakes with 4 itty kids yesterday (including my own) ages 4, 3, 2, and 1. Not quite as cute/fun/picturesque as I had thought in my head.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Kids
I know I know, I'm lame. Whatever.
So, the kids have been super fun and super annoying lately. Mostly fun, but they each reach a point at some point in the day, every day, where all I want them to do is be gone from me. I was blaming Moses getting new teeth in for a while, but I think I've been saying that for like a month. I mean, it was all four of his incisors at one time, so maybe it was painful for a month?? I don't know, all I know is I LOVE his nap time. LOVE IT. Live for it. But he's actually at quite a fun age, and 90% of the time is just the most darling little bugger in the world. He's suuuuuch a boy!! He climbs on me, and the chairs, and hits everything and bangs everything. His favorite toy by far are the extensions on the vacuum cleaner (yes, the same ones that Micah used to pretend were swords) he just pulls those pipes out and smashes the crap out of anything and everything. I'm actually surprised my apartment isn't in pieces. We had some little friends over earlier today and Moses loved running around with the bigger kids, and he also loved hitting them. A lot. He was placed in his crib several times as punishment, but I don't it leaves much of an impression cause he just keeps doing it. By the time they left I think he was finally a little bit understanding.... probably not. Oh, the false hopes of us mothers. Anyways. That boy is sure talking a lot too, and it is funny. He has the deepest little voice, and he gets and says some thing really well and others...... well........ For instance.
"Say 'please' Moses."
"Am mama."
"No, Moses, say 'please.'"
"Am mama."
But he is great at saying "Where's Daddy?!" or "Where's Bi-cah?" (Micah- aka his favorite person). "Page?!! Where's Page?!" Page is the only girl name that he'll say, so he calls every female "Page." Valentine did the same thing. Oh Page. He really likes to murmur under his breath during every prayer, so it's like he's saying it, which makes me laugh every time. He also says, "I running!" or "I fast!" My favorite is when he says Valentine - "Bal-nine!!!" He says that a lot but WILL NOT say Moses. He says, "Again?!" a lot and he tries to count which is verrry funy. He very jumbled-ly said "I love you" for the first time the other night and I loved it. Pretty much except for please he'll try to repeat you or say whatever you tell him to, it's just a long ways from anything distinguished. It'll be weird when he's really talking, I kinda like his low deep babbling and mumbling. So manish.
Oh. Moses also has this ridiculous skin fetish. If I'm wearing a leotard or swimsuit his eyes literally light up and he runs over to me and buries his face in my legs. Or he'll lift up my shirt and just rub his head and face on my stomach. Maybe it's because of his huge still somewhat bald head??? It's a little weird. And sweet. But speaking of that head- he still has blonde eyelashes on left eye and dark brown on his left, and his hair is mainly brown, but right on the crown of his head is this big blonde streak and he has a few others on his left side. So neat, I'm very interested to see what it will look like when he actually has some. :)
Valentine was SO GREAT for a while. SO GREAT. Very obliging and good and sweet. Obviously not perfect, but a really really good little girl. This past week or so though...... good heavens she has been talking so nasty and rude and challenging every single thing I ever say. Her favorite is when she's reeeeaaaaaally mad to get her point across she screams out "EVER!!!!" (I think this is from Tangled when the mom yells "You are not leaving this tower! EVER!") Apparently now it's good though for a kid to be argumentative because that means they are less likely to give into peer pressure- if that's true then Valentine is SET. Between the two of them I feel like simultaneously doing a dance and crashing into bed the second they're asleep every night. And I feel like I'm such a mean and horrid mother cause I feel like all I do is yell/talk super-sternly/tell my children to go away or to leave me alone. Yeah, I'm pretty awesome. But she has also been darling and says the funniest things, I love her age (most of the time...). She's so bright and aware of everything, it's really amazing to see and observe what she notices and thinks. When I tell her it's time for bed at 8 she takes me to the window and says "See Mama? Look at the sky- it's not night-time yet, we don't have to go to bed." I then try to explain that it stays lighter in the summer, but it's still the same time..... blah blah blah, does. not. compute. Or it'll be two or three days since they last had a bath and Valentine will come up to me and say "Um, are we still clean Mama? I think we're dirty Mama, I think we need a bath." Again, I'm awesome. Our cousin, Luisa, who is Valentine's age just moved into a house from an apartment- upon learning about this Valentine insisted that she wanted a house. "I want a pink house Mama. With a blue door and yellow flowers and a purple bedroom, and a red kitchen and lots of trees, and I want an old, big pink dog." Pretty much she likes pink. And she's wonderful. I tell her that every night before going to sleep, I give her a hug and a kiss and I tell her, "You are wonderful. I love you so much."
And it's true.
New photos to come.........
So, the kids have been super fun and super annoying lately. Mostly fun, but they each reach a point at some point in the day, every day, where all I want them to do is be gone from me. I was blaming Moses getting new teeth in for a while, but I think I've been saying that for like a month. I mean, it was all four of his incisors at one time, so maybe it was painful for a month?? I don't know, all I know is I LOVE his nap time. LOVE IT. Live for it. But he's actually at quite a fun age, and 90% of the time is just the most darling little bugger in the world. He's suuuuuch a boy!! He climbs on me, and the chairs, and hits everything and bangs everything. His favorite toy by far are the extensions on the vacuum cleaner (yes, the same ones that Micah used to pretend were swords) he just pulls those pipes out and smashes the crap out of anything and everything. I'm actually surprised my apartment isn't in pieces. We had some little friends over earlier today and Moses loved running around with the bigger kids, and he also loved hitting them. A lot. He was placed in his crib several times as punishment, but I don't it leaves much of an impression cause he just keeps doing it. By the time they left I think he was finally a little bit understanding.... probably not. Oh, the false hopes of us mothers. Anyways. That boy is sure talking a lot too, and it is funny. He has the deepest little voice, and he gets and says some thing really well and others...... well........ For instance.
"Say 'please' Moses."
"Am mama."
"No, Moses, say 'please.'"
"Am mama."
But he is great at saying "Where's Daddy?!" or "Where's Bi-cah?" (Micah- aka his favorite person). "Page?!! Where's Page?!" Page is the only girl name that he'll say, so he calls every female "Page." Valentine did the same thing. Oh Page. He really likes to murmur under his breath during every prayer, so it's like he's saying it, which makes me laugh every time. He also says, "I running!" or "I fast!" My favorite is when he says Valentine - "Bal-nine!!!" He says that a lot but WILL NOT say Moses. He says, "Again?!" a lot and he tries to count which is verrry funy. He very jumbled-ly said "I love you" for the first time the other night and I loved it. Pretty much except for please he'll try to repeat you or say whatever you tell him to, it's just a long ways from anything distinguished. It'll be weird when he's really talking, I kinda like his low deep babbling and mumbling. So manish.
Oh. Moses also has this ridiculous skin fetish. If I'm wearing a leotard or swimsuit his eyes literally light up and he runs over to me and buries his face in my legs. Or he'll lift up my shirt and just rub his head and face on my stomach. Maybe it's because of his huge still somewhat bald head??? It's a little weird. And sweet. But speaking of that head- he still has blonde eyelashes on left eye and dark brown on his left, and his hair is mainly brown, but right on the crown of his head is this big blonde streak and he has a few others on his left side. So neat, I'm very interested to see what it will look like when he actually has some. :)
Valentine was SO GREAT for a while. SO GREAT. Very obliging and good and sweet. Obviously not perfect, but a really really good little girl. This past week or so though...... good heavens she has been talking so nasty and rude and challenging every single thing I ever say. Her favorite is when she's reeeeaaaaaally mad to get her point across she screams out "EVER!!!!" (I think this is from Tangled when the mom yells "You are not leaving this tower! EVER!") Apparently now it's good though for a kid to be argumentative because that means they are less likely to give into peer pressure- if that's true then Valentine is SET. Between the two of them I feel like simultaneously doing a dance and crashing into bed the second they're asleep every night. And I feel like I'm such a mean and horrid mother cause I feel like all I do is yell/talk super-sternly/tell my children to go away or to leave me alone. Yeah, I'm pretty awesome. But she has also been darling and says the funniest things, I love her age (most of the time...). She's so bright and aware of everything, it's really amazing to see and observe what she notices and thinks. When I tell her it's time for bed at 8 she takes me to the window and says "See Mama? Look at the sky- it's not night-time yet, we don't have to go to bed." I then try to explain that it stays lighter in the summer, but it's still the same time..... blah blah blah, does. not. compute. Or it'll be two or three days since they last had a bath and Valentine will come up to me and say "Um, are we still clean Mama? I think we're dirty Mama, I think we need a bath." Again, I'm awesome. Our cousin, Luisa, who is Valentine's age just moved into a house from an apartment- upon learning about this Valentine insisted that she wanted a house. "I want a pink house Mama. With a blue door and yellow flowers and a purple bedroom, and a red kitchen and lots of trees, and I want an old, big pink dog." Pretty much she likes pink. And she's wonderful. I tell her that every night before going to sleep, I give her a hug and a kiss and I tell her, "You are wonderful. I love you so much."
And it's true.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Oooooooh....
Haha, I've been so silly. I forgot that there is something that is always the answer to any of my life problems. No matter how I feel this always makes me happy and helps me to see things more clearly. How could I have forgotten???? Thank you Maria for reminding me. I feel much better now.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Rut, or funk, or..... whatever.
Well...... I don't quite know what is wrong with me. And I can't really describe it. There's been quite a bit of self-inadequacy feeling lately. I want to do it all. I want to grow up. I want to be a ballet dancer. I want to be an opera singer. I want to be a Broadway star- and maybe even a movie actress (Yes, I actually practice talk-show interviews and acceptance speeches from time to time). More than anything I want to be the cutest, most fun/creative/loving/educating, best mom in the world. I want to be blogging/crafting force of nature. I want more and more babies, but I can't decide what I want the timing to be. I want to travel and see and experience so many enchantments of this world. I want to help people. I want to be an example of My Savior. I want to be a world-famous baker. But I'm not any of it. Not even close. At all. The problem is I'm just so..... incompetent. I have so many loves and have so many passions. But all I have is a huge mish-mash of semi-talents and a complete lack of drive or ambition. I'm just okay at everything, and I never put in the time or energy to be better and then get mad that I'm not. I sometimes (a lot of times) get frustrated that I never finished school, or at least really tried to excel at music or dance when I had the time. I don't regret starting to have babies when I did. I don't believe in regret- to me that means that you're not happy and don't appreciate what you have. I am happy and I do appreciate what I have- I really couldn't love anything more than my unique little family- I just deplore what I am and wish that I was better. For myself, for my family, for my friends. I want to show my children all the wonders and knowledge in this world. I go to bed with all of these plans of the fun, good things I'll do with my kids the next day to help them grow and learn. And then I get up. I let Moses put in whatever movie he's throwing a fit about, I let them eat cereal without eating their fruit first, and I sit on the computer or putter around for awhile until we're forced to go out, when I hurriedly and stressed-outly attempt to get us ready and presentable for the world outside, usually snapping unnecessarily at the kids out of frustration and lateness. Then I go do something somewhat fulfilling/productive and then I let the kids play at my mom's while I sit and talk for forever while constantly batting my children's hands and pleas away so I can actually be a part of the conversation. So.... pretty much as Tina Fey proclaimed in Bossy Pants: "I'm the worst." I really am "the worst." I am happy, and I truly get so much JOY from my babies, my husband, my family, my friends. But I am just sooooo frustrated with myself. I want to be more, I want to be better. I sit on Pinterest, and I make countless lists but the actual carrying-out of any of it rarely happens. I want to be better, but I'm not taking any real steps towards better, and I can't really figure out how to get myself started so I can get there. I'm definitely in a rut, or funk, or..... whatever.
At least I've got all of these to make me feel better.
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